I had been beaten trying to juggle shift work, career pressures, workplace politics and my family’s needs. Sleep was something I did sometimes when I could and the thought of actually falling asleep scared me- because the demons you have whilst awake follow you into your dreams, as many of us know.

My encounters and feelings cast a shadow upon my everyday life and how I perceived the world. It was effecting my friendships and how I interacted with both people I knew, and strangers to whom I was a toxic, dominating bitch constantly seeking confrontation. I hated people, I hated work and worst of all I hated myself.

My children and husband were getting nothing but a negative, sad, irrational person with severe anger management issues residing with them. I was not emotionally available to anyone and was happy to spend my time alone where I would stew on things I wasn’t happy about, cry or make myself ‘mind-numb’- escaping reality on social media. This was not the confident, strong, smart, empowered woman my husband married and this was not the mother I imagined being to my children before we chose to bring them into this world. I could continue as I was and go down the path many had before me, or I could take action and sort my shit out.

I made the choice to sort my shit out. Over the next months, I spent a lot of time reflecting on who I was, what I wanted from life and how I intended to get it. The reason I started my career originally was simply ‘to help people’ and over the years, I had lost that focus in the fog that had become my reality.

After spending 7 months learning how to nourish my mind, body and spirit and going on to do and practice exactly that, I returned to the workplace and am actually happy to be there now. I enjoy what I am doing and funny enough, I actually like people again. I can see a future that is not all drama surrounded by negative thoughts and it’s empowering to know I did this for myself.

After failing to find ANY positive support services available, which were specific to my needs and career, that could actually support me to nourish my mind, body and spirit and strip away the layers of negativity, sadness and anger I was holding onto, I decided to start my own…and Nourished Forces was born.

I want to help others get through the fog of their reality, sort their shit out and see a future where they don’t have to be the stereotypes we all know so well…‘damaged’, ‘broken’, ‘head noises’. No one tells you that you CAN turn it around, they are all too busy avoiding you, scared that if they make eye contact they may catch it too, or even worse trying to shuffle you out the back door like a secret shame. No one tells you it can be a happy and a positive future. IT CAN. It is hard work and its doing things that may be outside your comfort zone- but it works!

I empathise with how you feel because I too have been there. I still have my challenges daily, but I approach them differently now and they don’t consume me or my world. I know what you are experiencing and I want to help you nourish yourself so you can come through it and find yourself again.

I’m proud to say 15 years on that I still ‘help people’, but now I also get the ultimate pleasure of helping my fellow First Responders release that which no longer serves them. And that nourishes my soul!