I don't know about you, but one of the only times I actually get to stop and be one my own, is if I’m in a bath or having a shower. Don’t get me wrong, the fam do come and go as they please, particularly if I’m sitting in the bath, the kids think I get lonely in there, and my husband likes to pop his head in and say hi to ‘The Big Ones’, but most of the time, I get to just sit and chill in my Fortress of Solitude and let the chaos of our home, take place on the other side of the door.
It’s my ‘Happy Place’ and a device free zone. It is a private space that is mine to release what no longer serves me. (Not in a dirty way- grubs)
We need to allow ourselves time to reflect and process our day, or week, to give ourselves that time to feel angry, sad or frustrated and we need to tell ourselves it is ok to feel this way.
There is nothing wrong with feeling emotions. We all have them- Men and Woman alike. Some of us, depending on our career, train our minds to switch off to particular feelings and if they do arise to ignore them and push them away. I am going to give my 2 cents on this.
We, ‘People who Serve’, tend to try and keep our ‘work life' and ‘home life’ separate. We don't want to take the crap we see and experience at work home to toxify our families. In doing this however we have a work hat and a home hat and if we are not associating work with home, at any stage, processing experiences can be really hard, because we work at work. We don't have down time at work. We are not alone with our thoughts at work and we don feel we are free to express and show our emotions at work. So if we are not feeling and releasing emotions at work and we are not feeling and releasing emotions which are a result of work at home, no wonder shit is banking up for many, many, many, many, many, many ,many, many, many People who Serve.
The longer you’re there serving your community or country, the more emotions you are failing to acknowledge and release. Over time your brain wants this shit gone and if you will not allow it to process it the way it wants to, and you push it away constantly as it tries to…at work cause you are not there to get emotional and at home cause that’s not the place for work shit, your brain will process it the way it knows how to and hello PTSD my old friend!!!
Those banked up emotions do make their way into your home life eventually and by this stage you have no choice. Unreleased emotions are now all mushed together and your an anxious mess and anxious means you’re also now very quick to temper so you yell at your kids and partner LOTS. Your family and friends are now walking on egg shells when your around and you know what? That's not nice!
Unprocessed emotions become fears now too, so you find you’re having irrational thoughts due to ‘things you've seen at work’. You look at every strange looking person at the park like they are about to steal you child and sexually abuse them, you hear someone drop something in the mall and your heart races and you start sweating because for that small amount of time, you thought it was a gun shot. Maybe everywhere you look people are covered with germs or about to die of some terrible disease. The list can go on cause your imagination is the limits. Again, Its not nice!
Unprocessed emotion and thoughts will run around your headspace like a dog chasing its tail. They will stop you falling asleep and run through your dreams/ nightmares when you do actually get some shut eye. PROCESS THAT SHIT PEEPS!!!!
If you don't acknowledge your thoughts and feelings as you get them, you will often need to seek professional help to guide you through the process to accept and release them and it can be a slow drawn out practice for something you could have allowed yourself to deal with when it happened,
One of the reasons we don’t show emotion at work, when we feel it initially, is that we work in cultures where showing emotion is wrongly depicted as a vulnerability or a sign of weakness. This is a culture that needs changing or you will continue to loose friends to mental illness after they shut themselves away from the world, or even worse, take their own life. This in itself will be another article cause I intend to offer ways to start changing this culture, but like everything in this world- start with yourself and work outwards.
So run yourself a bath or a nice hot shower and allow yourself some ‘time out’.
Sometimes you may not even realise it until you stop and sit there in your bath tub, or stand in your shower, with nothing to do but keep your thoughts company. Sit there and ask yourself;
Whats been happening for me this week?
Have I seen anything at work this week I need to let myself acknowledge now, and release?
What did I experience this week at work and how did that make me feel? What good things happened at work this week?
I know it sounds stupid, but please, please, please just give it a try and when you do, give yourself the respect to be honest with your answers.
If your standing in the shower feeling sad, cry!!! That is fine! Allow yourself permission to actually ‘feel’ and if crying is the result of that- go for it! You will feel a million bucks when you have released that grief and emotion which no longer serves you. If you find that something is particularly effecting your headspace and a specific incident enters your space often, speak to a professional when it starts. It will not just go away as people think. Get help to acknowledge, process and accept your feelings and emotions.
When my Kids loose their shit, I don't send them to their room, I send them to the bath. I put a squirt of my doTERRA body gel in to make a land of bubble craziness, add some Lavender or Balance doTERRA essential Oil and either Epson salts, Himalayan salts or bi-carb soda. I make them sit in there and chill out in their own little Fortress of Solitude and within 10 minutes, they are new Mini Men Folk.
Have a gander at my Beck's Bath Salt Post to see how easy it is to make some bath salts to add to your tub or throw in the bottom of your shower and then DO IT!!!!